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She laughs at Edwin’s jokes. Seems so interested in Edwin’s stories. Talks to Edwin like a normal person. But when it’s my turn, she’s like a zombie. A fake smile, some cold shoulder and comments, silence. 

She doesn’t care about me.

And I don’t matter. According to her.

Am I not allowed to be happy? Happy as in having dinner with family? Or going out. Or going somewhere, take a vacation. Because everytime I do that, someone gets angry. 

Everytime I try to enjoy life, I put myself on the edge of breaking up. 

So, to avoid breaking up, I try to avoid everything and everyone. No facebook, twitter, text replies, phone calls, meet ups, hang outs or chit chats with other people. Been doing that almost 3 days now. And then it all goes down to that someone that I’m doing it for. Her. Who is also the one bringing me down by telling me I can’t.

You don’t know what love is.

Hindi ka man lang marunong magsorry sa kababawan mo. Mas mahalaga pa yung issues kesa sakin. Bakit ka ganyan? Bakit napakaunfair ng buhay ko? Ako, minamahal ko siya ng buong buo. Siya, hindi niya matanggap pagkatao ko. Pero nagpapakatanga akong naniniwalang mahal niya ako. Minsan ang hirap nalang maniwala sa kanya. Dahil masaya lang kami pag masaya siya. Lagi siyang naghahanap ng butas. Kapag naman nagbibigay ako, kulang yun. Nakakasama talaga siya ng loob. Ang unfair niya.

Wala na talagang maasahan ngayon. Lahat nangiiwan. Kahit ano pang buti gawin mo sa isang tao, sa bandang huli, iiwan ka rin kahit pa luhaan ka wala silang oras para patahanin ka.

WHEN THE TRUTH IS YOU’RE JUST NEVER CONTENDED AND YOU ALWAYS ASK FOR MORE.

 TweetMoveOn If you appreciate a person, and genuinely adore someone, you’ll place aside foolish pride and worry and enjoy them with out regret. 

I hope you’re happy growing old with your much beloved self.